Don’t forget to remember me.
That is one of the songs I have been looping the past few days, and of course I’ve also been looping David Cook’s Always Be My Baby (gosh, you just have to loove his version of it). Quoting a bestie, Don’t Forget to Remember Me is one of those songs that get you all emofied especially if you’re leaving/staying overseas. No doubt when I heard the song, my throat went all dry, my heart just started racing and yeah yeah, my sym (I put the short form BECAUSE I can’t remember the name!!! *gasp gasp gasp* and I’m too lazy to flip the book whoever who is reading this please let me know, and then you can have bragging rights) nervous system just kicked into hyper-drive.
I don’t know whyy, it’s not like Singapore is a gazillion miles away. For God’s sake, it’s just across a river. However the feeling of being away for the first time from things and people that make me feel so comfortable to somewhere foreign and getting to know people all over again.. getting comfortable with people all over again, grasp my heart in an unnerving kind of way. But, I must admit, I am also bubbling inside from all the excitement that comes together with this.. cold feet syndrome. Flipping through the student union book finally gave me a sense of achievement, that I am actually going to have a real campus life! And finally be able to test how well I can be standing on my OWN two feet. No doubt I have a feeling the first few nights there will suck, but I am looking forward to it.. bring it on *rarrr* In the mean time, trying to divide myself as much as possible into many many different parts to meet the many many people whom I am going to miss terriblyy.
I am going to miss you guys. undeniably true. I already do.
Anyway, I have been uber busy with life, catch up with me on my facebook, it’s like my mini photo blog. Aand I am also turning a year older (unfortunately so) *hint hint* and yeah, a list of things that I still do even though I am reaching a ripe old age of 20, haha, has been playing in my head for quite some time, and I will post it… when I am 20. till next time. toodles people.
gasp* i can’t wait for 2mrw!
From Brenda’s blog, when I needed it most. Thank you. *hearts*
Love after Love
The time will come when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome, and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
- Derek Walcott
and … HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANIEL!
this poem is for you too. *hearts*
These two hands.
Ecclesiastes 9:10
Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might,
for in the grave, where you are going, there is neither working
nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.
i started out this blog post wanting to write a reply to jimmy’s post regarding what girls like… another day :)
anyway. i stumbled across this bible verse on my facebook account and it got me thinking, on this cool sunday afternoon the purpose of life (ceh wah, sound so .. thoughtful). i was surfing through pages on facebook, looking through pictures of friends/ old friends and wondered a little on how they are doing, whether they are happy, safe and what they were doing with their two hands. Then i looked at my two hands and wondered whether i am truly making the best out of them.
Whether I really did go out of the way to hold someone’s hand, or give someone a well needed handshake, and perhaps to just wipe away a tear and a pat on the back to get one started on their journey. It’s amazing what two hands can do ( haha) but more importantly what we decide to do with our two hands. Cheating/pick-pocketing/bribing/slap/littering/murder to name a few, but also to hug/clap/hold/shake/love – so in the end it’s what inside us that counts, as cliche as it sounds.
And in this profession which I am pursuing, I suppose our hands are the most important assets. what we choose to do with them and the reason for our journey. and i know for my part at least, if I have been led to lead this path and life, and i choose to do it, i will do my best to train these two hands to give back what i have been given until i can give no more :)
Shadowed Heart
people always leave.
i should have learnt that by now.
ever wondered how well everyone hides behind a front? or secretly think that they are doing everyone good by building a wall between who they really are and what they want us to see? to ‘protect’ ones self? or how stupid it is of them to pretend that everything is alright when the insides are upside down and inside out?
that someone must have been hurt, to say the least, scared from a memory, near or distant, to want to detach him/herself away from reality, from what he/she believes in.. no.. what he/she wants to believe in. this is why we tell people to have faith, to be strong, to believe, because saying it out loud means we believe, we are strong and we have faith. when all hope seems lost, it’s the only way to go right?
am i making sense?
guess not. i’m confused myself. guess i’m just missing someone’s company. guess. hurh. funny word.. guess. yes, what i’d like now is clarity. and wisdom. and strength. and courage. and love. mainly love. because i feel that i’m kinda running dry on love nowadays, in a sense when you feel like you only have so much to give but so many people to give it to…and with limited time, not to mention.
i have to stop saying i have limited time, makes me sound so morbid, and the part where i always go – i’m leaving. yeah. its just SIngapore, can’t be that hard to find me, right guys?
anyway, back to the point. every face has a story behind it. i know sounds sooo cliche, but it’s true. and sometimes the face gives it away, even if behind a smile, you can tell whether it’s really a smile or just something else, and yet you let it pass because deep down inside, you’ve given that kind of smile before. so you don’t feel so bad, after all, at least you know you’re not alone.
misery loves company.
there comes a point, when i guess, there really isn’t much you can do, but to hold on to faith and the people who love you, to trust in your instincts and to believe. saying is much harder than doing it.
without breaking, there won’t be healing. without healing, there won’t be learning. and without learning, there won’t be a struggle. struggles are apart of life, no? ( i’m rambling from OTH) somewhere along those lines.
guess, i should sleep.
