Can you keep a secret?
“At the end of the day, there are some things you just can’t help but talk about. Some things we just don’t want to hear, and some things we say because we can’t be silent any longer. Some things are more than what you say, they’re what you do. Some things you say cause there’s no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves.”
-meredith grey, GA
so tell me, can you keep a secret?
you think you know, but the truth is, you don’t. so back off.
it’s complicated
these two days, conversations have been very interesting and very heart to heart. its an eye opener to hear so many views. and mainly our conversations revolved around the good ol’ high school stories of first loves and relationships. sigh. it sounded right to chatting about all these things during high school, and not when we are cafeteria hopping or ’stealing chicken’ in the library, if you get what i mean.
hee. it’s complicated. these two words are so complex and ironically so complicating that even the smartest person on earth ( Joshua Tan- who got the top in the world for four alvl subjects…. again top in the WORLD, and FOUR alvl subjects, FOUR and WORLD. doesnt anyone realise how big this is???!! kudos to you joshua if you happen to be blog hopping and stumbled upon my humble blog :D hee) would have the answer or reasoning for these two simple words. simple? yes… easy? heck no.
some issues, sensitive ones such as religion even till this time frame of ours (88) still IS an issue, a criteria so to say when selecting a partner. that is just something i wasn’t really aware of until now. call me ignorant, idealistic or whatever..but i really didn’t think this issue was that real, that ‘alive’ in society, and it saddens me to think when it comes to matters of the heart, your own heart, and yet feels like its not yours any more but also your families, your future, your ethnicity, your religion and basically what everyone else feels about it too lar rite.. not just YOU. approval. sure. there is always the option of eloping, but then again, you’d be running from reality all your life.
so what are fairy tales for anyway?
to cheat us when we were younger is it???!! where is the happily ever after? even if you get married there are thousand and one responsibilities you have. there isn’t a knight in shining armour that comes in a white horse to sweep you off your feet. knight in shining armour who have flawless complexion and flouncy bounvy hair. or a very rich prince who falls in love at first sight of you in rags. you dont live in a castle up in the sky, or have extra ridiculously long hair. nor own a pair of glass slippers made to fit. humans can’t fly and there are no tinkerbells to throw fairy dust to make us fly either. and living happily ever after in real life means having each other, a roof over your heads, and food on the table everyday, not fancy gala dinners with talking spoons and teapots.
but i hope i will still read all these fairy tales to my children before the sleep at night, and so to let us them have a bit of hope and faith and then let life take it all away with reality. hee. because there isn’t anything wrong for wanting, aiming, for that fairy tale ending. so that i can be reminded what it felt like to have those fairy tale wishes.
and yeah, if i had him and he had me,
and we had a roof over our heads
with food on the table everyday,
it would be a good enough fairy tale ending for me :)
plus. fairy tales never included long distant relationships *grumbles*
because life just has to be thaat complicated.
and i miss you.
i’d like to see you now.
i refuse to sleep.
just refuse to walk up to my room, brush and lie on bed to sleep. and merely just think of sleep. there is a pile of notes on my study desk which just seems to call to me everytime im in that room, and that small little thing for theboyfriend which remains unfinished and omg-nearly forgotten placed aside for ‘free’ time. but here i am, blogging and listening to music, sad music…giving me the urge to do absolutely nothing but rant.
why is it we try to hard to do well in life? why is it that we have nothing to do we equate it to rotting, and why cant it just be left as erm.. taking a break? because we are asians. damn it. hahaha. why? butt too itchy now is it? ask you to relax you complain, ask you to work you also complain!! true. but thats putting it in a harsh tone. you have to understanddd.. we are asians… we don’t sit and do nothing. even when we look like we are doing nothing our brain is constantly doing SOMETHING, whether its planning the next big shopping spree, or methods on saving the world, the brain is working. so what do we do when we have nothing that our hands can do?
… we fold stars….
lots of stars :D
or we refuse to sleep because the mind is not at rest!
precisely why we have girlfriends, whom we call to bitch gossip and rant in the middle of the night in the middle of the freaking week. when all hopes are lost and when everything seems bleak… girlfriends who seem to make things seem much more worst than they really are (as if its not bad enough already, we don’t reaaallly need a realitic check you know ) ironically can’t help but make you smile at the end of the day wondering what the heck where you talking about in the first place. so yes. conclusion hari ini adalah, everyone needs girlfriends. if you don’t have one, get one today for your own sanity.
theboyfriend worries im going to ditch him for a girl…
hehehe. look who is talking right?!!
gosh. now im overcome with emotions…
missing him emotions :(
a very good friend of mine once told me… nothing comes easy. everything comes with a price. or something along that line. sacrifice eh. even if saving you sends me to heaven. random things like that, goes to show that we know we’re not going to get things our way, or get things easy, or be as blessed as the who and who person we think who is sooo fortunate, or to sit around hoping what we want will come dropping from the sky, or keep hoping that a knight in shining armour (preferably mcdreamy OR mcsteamy) to sweeep you off your feet to never ever land. but we still hope. we still keep faith. and we still grumble when it doesn’t happen that way :) but how would we know what happiness is, if we’ve never dealt with sadness? and how would we know what winning feels like if we’ve never lost? and how would we know what love is if we never knew what it felt like in the absence of it? you knoww… the whole yin yang east west north south balance thing.. it goes to prove how hard you are willing to work towards something you hope for; something you have faith in and not just toss it aside and give it up… because with sacrifice there’s got to be some reward somewhere…and nothing comes easy. if its difficult the rewards are bound to be satisfying, life isn’t easy you know!!! and thinking about things, what you think the person next to you already has and wishing you could be that person, you have no idea what that person is going through and if you were to be that person, you wouldn’t be the person you are today.
ahh.. and the good ol’ quote, God isn’t punishing you, He just hasn’t rewarded you yet.
so givee..with your heart and hope for nothing in return but just hope it passes on and love, love with your whole heart and live life as it is. pray. hope. keep faith.
dance as if no one is watching!
world spins madly on.
“We all go through life like bowls in a china shop – a chip here, a chip there. Doing damage to ourselves, to other people. The hard part is trying to figure out how to control the damage or the damage that’s been done to us. Sometimes we think we can at least fix the damage. We’re all damaged, it seems. Some of us, more than others. We carry the damage with us from childhood. Then, as grown ups, we give as good as we get. Ultimately, we all do damage. And then, we set about the business of fixing whatever we can.”
-meredith grey
the whole world is moving, and im standing still.
spread jennie love.
okay. that sounded bit wrong.. buuut, check this out!!
THE monocyte (white blood cell)
so cool. tee-hee.
on a much lighter note.
for those who are super blind… lol. no offence, it says —>
i have the kind of friends that if my house was burning down,
they would be there making s’mores and hitting on the HOTT firemen.
you know i love you guys heaps rite. and to those that i don’t see often enough, i’m thinking of you guys and i’ll call to bug you soon, unless you are just overseas and so i’ll just stay with the option of missing u from afar :)
-thanks for the love person/s-
crossing that fine line. period.
“I wish there were a rulebook for intimacy. Some kind of guide to tell you when you’ve crossed the line. It would be nice if you could see it coming, and I don’t know how you fit it on a map. You take it where you can get it, and keep it as long as you can. As for rules, maybe there are none. Maybe the rules of intimacy are something we have to define for ourselves.”
-merdith grey
nuff’ said.
