Pink Striped Buttons
i think i am a compulsive blogger, just when i actually think and KNOW i have nothing else to bog or say or typ, and my brain fluid has just gone dry from the endless amount of notes i try to remember, i find myself coming to this web page time and time again, look through the unposted posts, and then write a fresh one. hmm. i actually wonder if i will end up posting this, but yes, i think i will… just because i feel the need to. seriously. and its not that i’ve got anything smart to say, or deep, or emo, or yaaa.. NOTHING. hmph.
oo. rhuban blinked on. shall disturb that sad soul.
aah.. i think i know what this is already. its called procrastination. waa.. i’m getting good at this :) :) sigh. and still this isn’t going to change the fact that we’ve got maths and chem on friday. math AND chem. mechanics AND chem 4. hmm. i think its a sign that everyone is either offline, online and away, or just online but not talking to me. sound so sad right? okayla, shall not be sad anymore. at least with blogging, this gives me purpose! hahaha. sigh. still sad. its strange how when u have loong looonnngg breaks in between papers, you just don’t feel like you’re sitting for an exam anymore, it feels like a drilling test, and oh its just another paper, and that feeling is bad, because it prevents me fom being a complete nerd. i’m trying to, but again, i fail, because i end up day dreaming and hoping that somehow someway or another, its the LAST day of our very very long A2 exams. guess you can say i’m living for the last day of exams. seriously. and then again, you find that no matter how hard you study, or how much you think you’ve stuided, its never freaking enough, and i have yet to find out why :( grrrr*
and its strange that when you are apart or haven’t seen someone for so long, until you feel the distance in between or you feel like it was all in the past, you don’t know the person like you use to, you have differences, when you talk you find that you end up holding back, and on top of all that, you feel like you’ve somehow stopped missing that someone, because you feel like that someone doesn’t miss you either. haha, like friends whom you use to be so close till you can read their thoughts, and the next thing you know, you can;t anymore. so you stop feeling anything. and that’s just bad, right?
yes, i think it is bad, very bad.
sigh. it can’t be that bad, yes?
because i think that’s how life is, no?
math chem math chem math chem math chem math chem.
now that! is a balancing act. wish us luck.
Makes me wonder.
whee!
TWO down and SIX more papers to go! tralala… and went to watch pirates in between, i know i know.. sigh i feel satified guilty okay. hahaha…but it was soooo good. i mean come on larh, you are asking me to miss pirates, how could you??!!! and it was like what, two three two and a half hours only right? hahaha. it was good, shall not say anymore to avoid spoiling the movie for some people *hint hint- padan muka dunwaan to follow us*. go catch it kay! its worth it. although not as amazing and fuyooo as the 1st and 2nd one, its still good.
besides that, alot of procrastinating, refusing to start chemistry, being confused, ahem, getting confused, refusing to start maths :) ms suzie knows kan, she’s going to be pulling my ear… [ i miss her] and i sat for ISAT todaaay!!
ISAT. fine lar, i know it is a requirement to enter australian uni and all, but you don’t need to make it so difficult right anot?? my goodness. THREE hours for 100 questions. sigh. already cambridge making our lives diffcult, now australia also. 810 okay. think of the many many many things you can buy with 810. just think about it!!! grrrr* now i have more reasos to not like australia.. hrmph… on the other hand, it might just be my IQ, EQ, whateveeer lar.
as you can see, i don’t have much to blog about anymore. not anything substantial.. then again, i feel that everything i say nowadays seem very vague, no substance anymore… i swear to you its A2… evvviiillll…. *touch wood* so tahan tahan k. not that i got anything real to blog about anyway. i can be really emo now, but shan’t coz i don’t have the mood to! and i just feel like typing and typing so that i can waste more time before i attempt 01 mechanics! hehehe.
hrrmm.. :) i’m going to miss rafi’s.
and roti goreng sardine. and when i have roti goreg sardine i thin of shireen who intro-ed it to us :) i’ll miss that too.
i’m going to miss zyin and becca. cause we procrastinate together. and i love them. love.
and how becca said, a fly just died when rhuban tried to be serious. [ as if i'd ever remember that, but it was damn funny] and we saw real life spiderman wei :) :) :)
okay nuff said.. i’ll miss alot of things.
see, now i’m out of things to say already….oh yes, i guess when we’re older we tend to tolerate more of others. no one is perfect, if everyone was perfect, the world will be boring. and we undrstand. we adapt. and we stay happy and accept individuals for who they are. because, deep down, no one likes to be alone. and personally i’d like people to accept me just the way i am, evn if they can’t tolerate me at times :) see.. thats what friends are for, to accept you as ‘perfect’ even with imperfections. and then they annoy the shits out of you by teasing you! haha! but heck, i’ll miss even that.
so…. i don’t mind if one fine day….
okay la… :( guilt trumps procrastination.
SIX
it started off with one and a half years to go, then it became half a year to go, then it became one more month, then a week left, and finally the last day of class came and went.. and so now, i’m left with only six sad sad hours left before dragging myself into the MPH for one last show. hate to say it. but heck, i guess this is it hurh. and we start with goo ol’ physics 5.
sigh.
strange as it seems, it never felt like we were you know coming to an end, its as if we’re aking a long holiday. see how beng in denial can make people like me so happy and contented. but sure, my bubble of joy and safety had to burst some point in time. an it did, sort of busted itself. there are so many things i’d like so much to share with everyone. just how wonderful are the people i’ve met along the way; how much they’ve helped me see things i never would have saw on my own; the many lessons learnt; the joy of being with people you truly love and sayang. my lecturers were amazing. my classmates are one heck of a bunch, and if i had to endure another year and a half of stacks of unorganized notes, powerpoint slides, monthly tests/weekly tests/daily tests, exams, running around corridors, camwhoring, heart-2-heart discussions, biology, physics, chemistry and math! there won’t be another group whom i’d rather much have than the one i have now.
but since, we’re not going backward now, and God forbid we go through another round of foundation studies, we have much more to look forward to. a year and a half is waaaay to short. who says Alvls is long hurh? ;) i’m already missing them, can’t wait to see their faces in six hours, even if its just for an hour for the paper. i’m glad we were placed together. and everyday i thank God for blessing me with their friendship. emo :) since we’re done with foundation, guess there is a whole world out there to get to know, aite? and in the next five years time, i’d be obliged to call each of you by, ahem, Dr. , no? ha ha ha! you wished lar!!!! if can i’ harass you people in the hospitals, in your clinics and since we’ll be sleep deprivd already, whats anotehr few more years.. heck, why not a life time!! hahaha.. i, somehow am very sure u’ll all turn out to be mighty fine people.
you’ll all be in my prayers. i really do hope we can make it.
i heart you all very much!
bring it on!!!! raaaarrrr!
Happily Ever After?
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
‘Cause I saw the end before we’d begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what’s mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won’t stop there,
I am here for you if you’d only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I’ve kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I’ve been addicted to you.
I can smell rain from the window in my room.
i’m done with dreaming dreams that are out of my reach. realitistically speaking.
i’m glad you found me. and i’m glad we’re still friends.
and yes, i do have what ifs. and thanks for making me wonder again.
thanks for showing me that this isn’t my only road i can choose to take.
and that at least i know you’re just as scared to take the other..
so that i don’t feel so alone anymore.
knock knock knocking on heaven’s door.
i sat down on a table in a place so familiar to me.. i sat down with the people who i’ve only known for the past year and still getting to know.. and i feel so at peace with myself, with them and with everything that is happening. i see their faces and can’t help but wonder what they would be like few years from now. whether i’ll still be able to remember this thought crossing my mind today…on just how much i’ll miss sharing my 8-3 hours with them every single day.
how much i’ll miss shouting across class to retaliate to insults
how much i’ll miss toilet visits, plastic, japanese boy
how we will cross the streets oblivious to other bigger motor users!
how we’ll spend the first five to ten minutes of break deciding on where to eat, only to later change our minds and stand at the guard house going through another five to ten minutes again of deciding and how we’ll always be stupid enough to stand under the sun on top of that…
how we’ll whine and moan and complaaain to ms suzie for giving us so so so
much homework without any sense of remorse or pity..
how we joke and push each other in class, or the times when the guys run out of the toilets
and in and out the corridors chasing each other and ending up sweaty in class,
or the times where we actually can see the serious sides of each other…
how we’re there for each other in times of need, comfort,
a bit of slapping, and waking up… but i know they’re there…
sigh, i’ll miss this bunch.
i miss you twice more than you do.
i dont need anyone else, i just need you.
Lessons in Love by my parents – I
my daddy says…
that getting a boyfriend, is like going to a retaurant, and selecting from a menu of many many other dishes,
when you think that you have the best dish of your choice in front of you, taking note of course that it was your choice in the first place, you suddenly realise your dish doesn’t seem as attractive/tasty/amazing, like the platter your neighbour is having…
my mummy says…
you’ll have to kiss many frogs to finally be finding your prince charming. and don’t forget that there are many fishes in the sea!
i say…
my parents very cute lor :)
i don’t want to kiss many frogs. i know maybe the first frog i kiss won’t turn into my prince charming. but no, i do not intend on kissing frogs randomly from a pond… and yes, i also believe that in this over populated mother earth, with prob around 7 billion people, there has to be more than one person whom you can meet by chance, match and fall helplessly in love with. but then again, i like to believe also that you can only fall in love once, and in this world only one person is made for another, which is really very idealistic…
haha, if and when i go to makn at a restaurant, i rarely pick the dishes, so how to pick wrong dish? tee-hee. and besides, who ask me to busybody what my neighbour is having in the first place, and the best dish around may not be the best dish for me. very subjective, no?
however up till for now at least , i’d like to say that i love my frog and my dish.
