Reality bites.
i wonder if there could be another reason for this strangeness that has begun.
is it the past. the present. the future perhaps. thats hauting me.
not ready to make nice.
it was raining last night and the morning the day before.
seems like the Gods are trying to soothe our disturbed emotions under our skin.
i like it when it rains, makes me wanna curl up in bed and sleeep sleeeeep sleeeeeeep. :) given the chance i most probably would. asking the questions why why why, kept me wondering why why and why, nope, i don’t have the answers that i want, you can answer them for me if you want to, but i think i found a reason why i keep asking why…and to eventually let my whys, just stay unanswered whys. im sure most of us wake up everyday, and the heck we know why we do the things we do, we brush, we complain, we grumble, we eat, we chatter, we love,we hug, we learn, grow and stay happy/miserable/sad/frustrated. to be able to get up in the morning is one thing, but to realise that the rest of the day is for us to paint in watever colours we can paint it is another. we wish for things to turn out differently because even if we say we don’t expect much, we know we have our own expectations already, and when expectations don’t reach our standard, it hurts. we hate it when people says you didyour best, or do your best, because you will never know what your best is. we strive for excellence, and more often than not we get excellence, but things happen, and we have to live through it, we’re hurt, broken and dissapointed a the mess we created, but we keep pushing. seriously. pushing ourselves to the limit. because average just in’t good enough any more. and just because we believe we can do better.
we break, we fall, we cry, we hurt, and yet we’re annoyingly stubborn in wanting things that seem so far away.
seriously.
so yes, we dream big because we dare. we dream big, wish big, hope big, because we want to take those dreams, hopes, and wishes into reality. we dream big because its not only our own dreams that we carry, but the dreams of our parents schoolmates and friends, the dreams of the me yesterday, the day before, and the years before.
for that very reason alone, gives us enough reason to keep asking why, but at the same time, push ourselves to get what we deserve. its no longer pretty hearts, rainbows, clouds and clear skies.. its the cold hard truth. just because we need the cold. hard. truth. to make it through the rest of our lives.
and for those of us who are struggling to make it through a ffeeeeewww more months…
*GOOD LUCK FOR A2 TRIALS!!*
why.
//why.
why take chances?
why does it hurt so much?
why do we want the things we know we cannot; must not; will not have?
why do we always wish for more?
why is it that most of the time, we are either deliriously happy, distubingly confused and pathetically sad?
why can’t we appreciate what we already have?
why aren’t there instructions for life?
why try so hard?
why can’t we always be happy, carefree, and content?
why ask so many questions?
why are there no answers to those questions we ask?
why do we fall in love?
why him?
//why?
just because.//
hi, stranger.
It’s strange sometimes, you can be in a place so familiar like your own bedroom, and at the same time feel so strangely detached from the place; a stranger in a new place. I found myself there today, staring strangely at the things in my room, that make my room, my room, my place of comfort. The shadows on the wall seemed to play games with me, my chemistry textbook staring back at me with guilty eyes, as I stare back at it. And for that moment in time, when everything else in this world did not matter, when time would/could just stop for me, the only thing that I needed/wanted to do was hide under the covers on my bed, bury my head into my pillows and strangely I felt like crying. What is this strange foreign feeling? I’m tired of feeling so much and feeling nothing, tired of being worried, tired of letting go, tired of waiting, tired of trying, tired of struggling to understand, tired of feeling too much. why is it we cant see the future, so that we can determine what we do today is going to guarantee us the fairy tale ending that we want, why is it we can’t ever know what will be? I need someone to be here, someone to reach out and hold, someone to tell me everything is going to be okay and on top of it all just for someone to tell me that everything I am trying to do is worth giving it my all. i’m scared. tired. worried. confused. and in such emotions I find that they too can give some sort of comfort, giving me reasons to keep moving ahead, a chance for me to just hope and to look at a familiar scene and find new reasons to be a stranger again.
