in betweens
If you could go back and just change one thing about your life, would you?
And if you did, would that change make your life better?
Or would that change ultimately break your heart?
Or the heart of another?
Would you choose an entirely different path?
Or would you change just one thing?
Just one moment. One moment that you’ve always wanted back?
Do you ever wonder if we make the moments in our lives, or if the moments in our lives make us?
- lucas scott
clouds for brains.
aaaaarrrrrgggghhhhh.
i’m on freaking question number eight for the past ONE hour.
i just started.
and i freaking cannot move on to part c of the daaarrn math question.
good-lah. now i feel like a complete idiot.
-__- my brain hurts from lack of thinking. and so here i am… trying to stimulate it to move… bring it on greys.
/slams head onto the wall.
the name of the game: denial
It’s been awhile since I’ve had anything or for that matter any time to be blogging, and in a strange insane way, I miss that feeling, that sudden urge to blog about everything you see, smell, and talk about whether its to rant, bitch, or just to pour out inner emotions on the world wide web, just so you can feel better; just so you know, every person reading each line you so faithfully type, someone out there are reading your words, and feeling what you feel, and perhaps saying a little prayer for you, that is IF they are nice, or else they’ll just call you a whiny bitch.
seriously. So yes, updates, not that anyone reads, but… just in case *hint hint*Chinese New Year is a blast, officially one of my favourite holidays, having the week off from college is a super plus point considering the horrible fact that exams are only a blink of an eye away… ANYWAY, a lot of ang paos, alooot of catching up with family gossips, sharing tales of horror and happy fairy tale endings, and definitely whats Chinese new year without a bit lot of gambling. This Chinese new year was wonderful, I ate so much till I’m actually having a freakish phobia of food now, especially pork, now that’s SCARY, and plus point is that I saw like a whole stretch of this housing area releasing fireworks!! It was sooo beautiful. Breath taking view from my uncle’s very convenient condo. It is blissful to be in the company of the family…
CNY (johor) 07
Then its zoom back to kl, where I had to say goodbye to bin :( :( :( :(It’s not that I haven’t said it before, but it felt like I haven’t said it for so long, that it kind of feels weird, and I hate saying goodbyes.
seriously. I reeaalllyy try to avoid going to airports to send close friends away in fear that security might actually have to escort me out for bawling my eyes out. Besides its not like they would be gone forever… *whimpers* but STILL, a goodbye is still a goodbye, and I haven’t gotten the hang of it, don’t think I ever will. Problems of being an emotionally attached person… ya, seriously, I think it would be a problem. The thought of saying goodbye to people like the powderpuff girls just leaves this numbing feeling in the heart you know.. and everytime I have to say goodbye to bin, its that same annoying feeling, over and over again… :( Yes it sucks. Thanks for asking. But I’m fine. Watching grey’s anatomy which is soooo good! :)
I’m fine. Seriously. *thinks happy happy thoughts*
It’s just you think, you think you know someone, know who they are. You share a house and make wishes on eyelashes with them and we don’t know each other, none of us. We’re just a bunch of interns who work together. There’s nothing there. – izzie, grey’s anatomy season two. Kind of scary and depressing if you look at people that way, don’t you think? Like you think you know someone but in reality you’re far from knowing the tiniest bit of how that person feels, what he/she is thinking about. That’s the problem, we think we know, but most of the time we don’t. The truth about the truth, is that the truth hurts, and so we lie.
Roses and Angpows
feb14- no teenager with a reasonable mind will forget the reason behind this wonderful day, which i think deeeep down inside was made up a long long time ago, in a land far far away by little girls so that little boys would be obliged to shower them with expensive gifts, * chocolates, gems, roses, flowers… get the picture* so then these little girls can go around showing their other little girlfriends what this guy gave and that guy did and whatever ;p but then again there will be some little girls who will do that for some other little girls too *not really specifically mentioning names here, please don’t be offended-tee-hee*
THAT DAY *i swear to you* was maaadeee to instil fear in all of man kind, literally speaking, prices are hacked up so high that its insane, ‘romantic’ dining areas are also insanely packed with couples, looove is SO in the air, sappy love songs play in loops everywhere you go, roses are stupidly price that its daylight robbery, and clubs con you *oops* into buying their items and everyone and anyone seems to be randomly falling in love and spreading the joy of celebrating valentines, whether you’re a single or attached! some how or rather, the song ‘can’t help falling in love with you’ seems to be stuck in my head since then ^^ i was just telling a guy friend that day, can’t remember which guy friend, actually i was laughing at him, and some how splurted out how happy i am to be a girl on that day! hahaha. ITS INSANE! pople really live JUST FOR THIS ONE DAY. you have freaking 365 days a year and on this one day you want to give the whole world fr her, its stupid, silly, and crazy but in also another stupid crazy funny kind of way, its actually romantic?! i swear to you it is, tell me a girl who wouldnt want a surprise on this day and i’ll show you someone who has never smiled… like hello?! no one right ^^ haha, so yes, this day was made for girls by girls. definately dedicted to girls. period. fullstop. no doubt about that. then again, i really think vday can sometimes be over rated, and not to mention over priced, love should be show all year round, every day, regardless whether you’re having a bad day, good day, screwed up day, sad day, you can’t go wrong with a little bit of loving, and everyone deserves just that, no matter who they are. we are only human. and i feel that love is what trul makes the whole world go round. love for others, love for thyself, love for life. so spread the love :)
btw, i had a nice vday. thank u. here are some pictures to feast your eyes on! :
valentines day 07′
yay! i’m happy cny is SO NEAR. i absolutely looove this holiday, because my ahma will cook! she onlycooks once a year, and her cooking is sooooo soooo soooo freaking good. it is WORTH the four to five hour drive all the way down to johor, pass the freaking jams , just to have my ahma’s soup. i’m so loving the thought of being with te fam this cny!!! yay!
so wanna wish all of you a happy chinese new year! gong hei fatt choy!
nifferjen
I’ve spent another night doing nothing fruitful except stare into the endless pages of physics notes while trying desperately to be the sponge… obviously my efforts were futile, because within minutes i waswalking out into the living room and sitting myself down to a loding computer screen, gosh, i am so horrible. but guilt shall not stop me! mwahhaaha.
strangely enough i’m actually thinking of two people whom i will happily meet tomorrow morning, and who i meet every other single day. powderpuff threesome. okay then, that sounded abit off. tonight i am feeling random. feeling abit sleepy, and feeling abit tired. it’s hard to describe what seems t be plonking through my head rigt now, btw, is plonking even a word? but anyway, it feels like alot of different feelings, perhaps the though of vday is nearer or BETTER still CNY.. which reminds me, i brilliantly suggested to make 88 cranes out of tiny ang pao packets, i’m NO WHERE the 88, and my fingers are red and numb from folding repeated shapes, so i’ve reduced the number down to 66 and i am still… struggling XD
it’s a night where i don’t know what to feel, happy? tired? miserable? *actually yes, because of the workload we have and how lazy i am to move my sorry ass* angry? frustrated? silly? hyper? tired? sad? sleepy? confused? sappy? lonely? SEE, this is the problem with us, human beings, we looove creating so many words to describe so many things, or in other words looove to make sense out of everything, everything has to have a name, everything has to mean something, everything has to have a reason, everything has to make sense. ya, now i am having the human error, the part of me that everything has to make sense, although i don’t think i am making much sense… my feelings have to equate to something, there must be a sum, a reason, a law, a word to describe this. alas, there is none… until i can find it that is.. *smirks*
or perhaps its a certain farewell that seems to be like history repeating itself again, we all have to say goodbye someday.. i just hope there will be a see you again after this goodbye.
saturday morning
I’ve spent the last one hour and a half listening to sappy love songs, annoying my dear brother with new tricks I’ve learned with the camera, and 90% of that time trying to do something with my blog, which in the end… end up to be.. haha nothing… and then I stumbled upon this snippet at brendatan’s blog! Which reminds me to link everyone up as soon as I can…-__-
“What you need isn’t someone who will prove trustworthy so you can lie helplessly in their arms. You don’t need someone who’ll make sure you need them. You need someone who’ll build you up. And that means someone who will do everything they can to make sure you don’t need them and then simply hope, of your free will that you wont leave. Someone themselves who doesn’t worry about trust, but ill be fearlessly open because because he knows his heart is strong enough to survive it if you do go.” Just says everything I want to say, want to believe, and want to hope. ** I need help to work this.. please help! Haha.
THE BIG MOVE
HEY
i’ve finally decided that i am done and over with blog***** and now moved over to the new and very interesting wordpress! whee! of course its te work all over again, the fuss of linking up eeevveerrryy one; you now, making the theme feel right, doing the profle part, thinking of another name… blablabla ALL OVER AGAIN. but never mind, takes up my free time which btw should be spent studying *pffft* argh argh argh. but i decided if tat can’t keep me happy, i shall have this to company me while i possible hopefully not stumble through the rest of the year… and perhaps last much longer than that, unless it decides to be pissy and too hard to handle for simple me :) so yes, please people, give me time to… work these things out. might take a week or two. possibly a month.
TATA
